#100: Radiate.

So for my 100th lesson I wanted it to be a big one...this lesson keeps presenting itself in different ways to me over the past few weeks, so I think it is worth the "big one status!"

Recently someone told me that I radiate positivity and awesomeness. I couldn't believe my ears. I even asked her if she was talking to the right person...LOL...let me explain:

2014 has really thrown me for a loop. It hasn't been bad. In fact, it has been so much good...but it has been strange. Today I called it a RUT year. I feel like I've been stuck. Mostly stuck inside my own fear and anxiety...overwhelmed with the everyday struggles that I once seemed to handle with ease. I finally realized I was in trouble and started seeing a counselor. She has really helped me organize my thoughts in a more productive way and the one thing that has been consistent is that I don't love ME.

So to hear someone say that I radiate positivity and awesomeness - well, it was shocking. It has really made me think over the past few weeks. I've talked to numerous people about the comments and everyone has agreed. I've been told things like: "You are one of the most positive people I've ever known," and "how do you keep it all together, you are awesome!" WOW...all year I've been feeling like a complete loser. Like I'm losing my mind. Like I don't know how to be good at anything...and guess what? everyone else sees the truth...I am awesome!

My only goal for 2015 is to love ME.

As a result, I will care what I put into my body and how I treat myself. I will love caring for my family because I'm good at it and they love me. I will love being in love with my best friend because he loves me. I will love sharing my successes and challenges with my friends (old and new) because they love me.

2015 will be amazing. I can't wait to LOVE ME - the me that everyone else gets to see...the me that has been hiding all year...the me that just woke up and is ready to get to work...the me that LOVES life!

 

Lesson - Radiate for yourself. Not because others need you to or because you think you have to for 10 hours a day. Love yourself enough to take care of you all the time. Get rest when you need it. Set priorities. Delegate. Say no. Enjoy your moments...you just never know when everything will change. LOVE yourself every minute you can. And when you are lost - realize it is normal. It is okay. Find those people you can lean on to show you how awesome you are when you need it.

Special thanks to all of my readers...2015 is going to be another year full of lessons...can't wait to keep sharing my mom lessons with all of you...and document more for Edwin, Lyla and Louie...who knows, someday this just might be a book! ;)

#99: Don't go to bed angry.

I know what you're thinking...isn't that advice you give to an about to be married couple?!?! Yep...that is where I heard it! At every wedding shower and during every conversation with anyone wanting to give a how to be happily married tip...but I want you to learn this lesson NOW!

Every night we list some happy thoughts together because I believe going to sleep with a positive attitude fosters better rest! It doesn't matter how bad our behaviors have been or how awful our situation is...we can choose to go to bed happy. If not happy, content. We can feel confident that we will try better tomorrow or that we did our best for today. Don't waste time being angry. Find solutions and go to bed knowing that you are collecting positive energy to face tomorrow. 

And yes, if you get married...the lesson will still apply and everyone will want you to think that they are the first to remind you...but in your heart you will know that this was a lesson from your mom! 

#98: Create a Smile File.

One of the best bosses I ever had taught me this lesson. Create a smile file. There will be days when you are feeling low. You might be feeling lost. You might be feeling sad. You might be feeling lonely. You might be feeling like you've lost your sense of you - your sense of purpose...pull out your smile file and instantly be reminded of your awesomeness. Smile files consist of a collection of notes/pictures/cards/quotes/etc - basically anything that makes you smile...keep them in a folder/box/drawer/etc - basically anything you have access to...and that's it...

I'm always working on my personal smile file. There are some really special things from each of you (ex: this portrait of me by Edwin - I mean that is some awesome hair, right?) that end up there...thank you for making me feel AWESOME! :)

#97: Make your own.

This year I got lots of stamps/markers/stickers/etc and let you make your own Christmas cards for your teachers. I wasn't surprised that you were excited about the project because you love when we do crafts. I wasn't surprised at the amount of careful attention you took (even Louie) when making your designs and deciding which teacher would get each card. I wasn't even surprised when you also asked to decorate the envelopes.

What was surprising - and what is the lesson?

I was surprised by the sheer excitement each of your teachers expressed when receiving them. The lesson - handmade anythings go a long way to show how much you care for someone. It doesn't have to be big or expensive. A handwritten note on a piece of scrap paper can (and will) mean the world to someone someday...don't ever miss an opportunity to make your own!

#96: Don't bite your nails.

Lyla - mostly this lesson is for you...they look so much prettier polished and if you bite them, the polish looks ridiculous. Side note - manicures and pedicures are worth their weight in gold...don't bite your nails and one day demand that these be in your monthly budget - take care of YOU!

#95: You are spoiled...with love.

This year's Christmastime theme was SIMPLE...check out this mountain of gifts...all from those who love you. Just know that you are all SPOILED ROTTEN...and be thankful. This lesson is simple: know that the real gift isn't ever going to be wrapped in a box - it is felt...these gifts are just the material representation of the true gift - LOVE...you are loved beyond words...we are all so blessed.

#94: Believe.

Believe...in yourself, in each other, in others, in God, in kindness, in generosity, in love, in affirmations, in quality, in hard work, in miracles, in His plan, in your talents, in positive attitudes, in pushing limits, in challenging mediocrity, in trying your best, in dreams, in progress, in setting goals, in celebrating success, in learning from mistakes, in good.

#93: Gifts don't need to be wrapped.

Several years ago (out of laziness, I admit) I stopped wrapping your gifts from us to you. Santa brings your stocking and we give you each 3 gifts...to symbolize the 3 wise men that brought gifts to Baby Jesus. After seeing how excited Edwin and Lyla were to remove the blanket a few years ago, I instantly thought - wait I don't have to wrap everything. It is just as exciting to pull off a blanket!

Lesson - not all gifts need wrapping. In fact most gifts don't come neatly packaged with a big bow on top. Most gifts might feel like normal things until you actually stop to think about it. Some of my favorite gifts that haven't been wrapped: EACH OF YOU!!! You each came out in your birthday suit and were instantly perfect in every way...a gift beyond measure!

#92: Happy Birthday Jesus!

I remember the first time I celebrated Christmas with your dad's family in Pittsburgh...it was magical. So many people just happy to be together. One of my favorite parts was Grandma Mueller bringing out a birthday cake for Baby Jesus and everyone singing Happy Birthday. I don't know why - but I loved that. We never did that growing up...but it is a tradition that I've loved sharing with you. So thank you Grandma Mueller and Muellerville for loving me and making me one of your family from the very beginning...and for sharing the true reason for the season in a simple tradition that we can continue...LOVE!!! Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday Jesus!!! :)

#91: Black and white doesn't exist.

I recently took this picture of the Christmas tornado wreckage and immediately knew that I needed to make it a black and white photo. Everything looks better in black and white...especially messes.

But this has made me think...nothing is really black and white, especially our messes. There is so much grey - so many shadows - so much mystery - so much guilt - so many emotions - so much intensity. Everything would probably look easier if it were truly black and white. We would know exactly what to do in every situation. We would never have to think...but my lesson has been that there is beauty in discovering the grey. It is painful (sometimes). It is joyous (sometimes). Most certainly, it is unique...embrace the grey.

#90: Be merry.

Enough said.

#89: The kid table is the place to be.

Lesson - don't move up to the adult table until you have to. Believe me, your kid table is amazing!

#88: Look up.

Not really up...but look forward. Don't waste energy with regrets. Move on...be better tomorrow than today. Look up and forward...

#87: Just have fun.

This lesson is simple - just have fun. There are times where you will have to be serious and hopefully you'll learn when those times are - but there are many more times where you can just have fun. You can smile, laugh, joke, dance, twirl, sing, scream, march, get dirty, and on and on and on...Love this life...everyday...just have fun!

#86: Enjoy waiting in lines.

Car line can be fun. I hear parents talking all of the time about how awful car line is...and I must admit, I've sat there on days when I thought I'd never get to the drop off or pick up spot...but guess what, we always did...

Today's lesson is to enjoy waiting in lines.There are lines everywhere - restaurants, shops, drop offs, pick ups, post office, driving, bathrooms - face it, they are a part of our world. The faster you can learn to enjoy waiting in lines, the better life will become. I'm definitely not saying that waiting in lines will ever be (or should ever be) one of your favorite things to do...but we also don't have to hate it. Smile. Say hi to people. Turn on your radio. Sing. Pray. Experience the sunshine. There are a million ways to enjoy our lines. And don't let it stop there - when you get to the front of the line - BE NICE! It is these small things that can make our days mean so much more than mere minutes passing by.

#85: Recharge often.

Isn't it awesome that God built us with the ability to recharge. We can rest and lay down our burdens before the Cross and move forward with a full heart. During the holidays, I'm reminded how busy we can get. I often feel like my batteries are running out...I'm like the toy that can't sing the full song anymore or who's lights blink because there just isn't enough charge left...well...today's lesson is to recharge. Find ways to fill your tank. Seek opportunities to regain your composure and start over. Ask for guidance and wisdom from others whose batteries are charged...or be that person for someone else...we all need to recharge sometimes.

#84: Give and Receive.

Give with a joyful heart full of thanksgiving and receive countless blessings from God above. It is the season to remember those who are in need and help as we can. Let us always think of others.

#83: Open your eyes.

Recently I was taking some pictures and I asked you to open your eyes. We were outside and your eyes are so sensitive to the light that you are almost always squinting. I love your eyes...they are the most wonderful shade of grey-blue...just like your dad. Anyways, when I asked you to open your eyes, you said I can't and instantly forced them open with your hands. We both laughed hysterically and the resulting picture is just as funny as I remember the moment.

Lesson for today - OPEN YOUR EYES. There is so much to see in this world. So much beauty. So much love. So much to try. So much inspiration. So much. But you won't experience any of it with your eyes shut...and yes, sometimes it will be scary because there is also so much hatred, ignorance, ugliness, etc in our world. At those times, you might have to hold your eyes open. But OPEN YOUR EYES. Face everything with a sense of confidence. Love yourself. Know that you always have support. Know that you can do ANYTHING...but you must open your eyes and try!

#82: Make a path.

I saw this a few days ago and it made me think - who is watching my life path? Who am I inspiring? Who am I motivating? Who is looking at me as an example? What would my path look like? No doubt it wouldn't be a straight line so beautifully clear and so visible to everyone...what would yours look like? Should we work to change it?

#81: The only person in the world.

I recently went shelling with one of my great friends and it was simply beautiful. We rode a boat out to an island and were dropped off for a few hours. At times, I felt like I was the only person on the island. The wind and waves crashing were the only thing I could hear...and then I'd hear a "Mindy, look what I found!" and realize I wasn't alone...but for a second, it was just me...me and the world.

Sometimes we must fight battles alone. We must face our deepest fears and demons alone. We must cry in the silence of the night. We must hide. We must conquer. We must overcome...ALONE. I struggle with feeling lonely so often these days...but I'm learning that we must fight some battles alone in order to find true love for yourself...it is a painfully slow process...but progress can often be described in this way. Trust. Go. Progress...even if it is alone.