#100: Radiate.

So for my 100th lesson I wanted it to be a big one...this lesson keeps presenting itself in different ways to me over the past few weeks, so I think it is worth the "big one status!"

Recently someone told me that I radiate positivity and awesomeness. I couldn't believe my ears. I even asked her if she was talking to the right person...LOL...let me explain:

2014 has really thrown me for a loop. It hasn't been bad. In fact, it has been so much good...but it has been strange. Today I called it a RUT year. I feel like I've been stuck. Mostly stuck inside my own fear and anxiety...overwhelmed with the everyday struggles that I once seemed to handle with ease. I finally realized I was in trouble and started seeing a counselor. She has really helped me organize my thoughts in a more productive way and the one thing that has been consistent is that I don't love ME.

So to hear someone say that I radiate positivity and awesomeness - well, it was shocking. It has really made me think over the past few weeks. I've talked to numerous people about the comments and everyone has agreed. I've been told things like: "You are one of the most positive people I've ever known," and "how do you keep it all together, you are awesome!" WOW...all year I've been feeling like a complete loser. Like I'm losing my mind. Like I don't know how to be good at anything...and guess what? everyone else sees the truth...I am awesome!

My only goal for 2015 is to love ME.

As a result, I will care what I put into my body and how I treat myself. I will love caring for my family because I'm good at it and they love me. I will love being in love with my best friend because he loves me. I will love sharing my successes and challenges with my friends (old and new) because they love me.

2015 will be amazing. I can't wait to LOVE ME - the me that everyone else gets to see...the me that has been hiding all year...the me that just woke up and is ready to get to work...the me that LOVES life!

 

Lesson - Radiate for yourself. Not because others need you to or because you think you have to for 10 hours a day. Love yourself enough to take care of you all the time. Get rest when you need it. Set priorities. Delegate. Say no. Enjoy your moments...you just never know when everything will change. LOVE yourself every minute you can. And when you are lost - realize it is normal. It is okay. Find those people you can lean on to show you how awesome you are when you need it.

Special thanks to all of my readers...2015 is going to be another year full of lessons...can't wait to keep sharing my mom lessons with all of you...and document more for Edwin, Lyla and Louie...who knows, someday this just might be a book! ;)

#99: Don't go to bed angry.

I know what you're thinking...isn't that advice you give to an about to be married couple?!?! Yep...that is where I heard it! At every wedding shower and during every conversation with anyone wanting to give a how to be happily married tip...but I want you to learn this lesson NOW!

Every night we list some happy thoughts together because I believe going to sleep with a positive attitude fosters better rest! It doesn't matter how bad our behaviors have been or how awful our situation is...we can choose to go to bed happy. If not happy, content. We can feel confident that we will try better tomorrow or that we did our best for today. Don't waste time being angry. Find solutions and go to bed knowing that you are collecting positive energy to face tomorrow. 

And yes, if you get married...the lesson will still apply and everyone will want you to think that they are the first to remind you...but in your heart you will know that this was a lesson from your mom! 

#98: Create a Smile File.

One of the best bosses I ever had taught me this lesson. Create a smile file. There will be days when you are feeling low. You might be feeling lost. You might be feeling sad. You might be feeling lonely. You might be feeling like you've lost your sense of you - your sense of purpose...pull out your smile file and instantly be reminded of your awesomeness. Smile files consist of a collection of notes/pictures/cards/quotes/etc - basically anything that makes you smile...keep them in a folder/box/drawer/etc - basically anything you have access to...and that's it...

I'm always working on my personal smile file. There are some really special things from each of you (ex: this portrait of me by Edwin - I mean that is some awesome hair, right?) that end up there...thank you for making me feel AWESOME! :)

#97: Make your own.

This year I got lots of stamps/markers/stickers/etc and let you make your own Christmas cards for your teachers. I wasn't surprised that you were excited about the project because you love when we do crafts. I wasn't surprised at the amount of careful attention you took (even Louie) when making your designs and deciding which teacher would get each card. I wasn't even surprised when you also asked to decorate the envelopes.

What was surprising - and what is the lesson?

I was surprised by the sheer excitement each of your teachers expressed when receiving them. The lesson - handmade anythings go a long way to show how much you care for someone. It doesn't have to be big or expensive. A handwritten note on a piece of scrap paper can (and will) mean the world to someone someday...don't ever miss an opportunity to make your own!

#96: Don't bite your nails.

Lyla - mostly this lesson is for you...they look so much prettier polished and if you bite them, the polish looks ridiculous. Side note - manicures and pedicures are worth their weight in gold...don't bite your nails and one day demand that these be in your monthly budget - take care of YOU!

#95: You are spoiled...with love.

This year's Christmastime theme was SIMPLE...check out this mountain of gifts...all from those who love you. Just know that you are all SPOILED ROTTEN...and be thankful. This lesson is simple: know that the real gift isn't ever going to be wrapped in a box - it is felt...these gifts are just the material representation of the true gift - LOVE...you are loved beyond words...we are all so blessed.

#94: Believe.

Believe...in yourself, in each other, in others, in God, in kindness, in generosity, in love, in affirmations, in quality, in hard work, in miracles, in His plan, in your talents, in positive attitudes, in pushing limits, in challenging mediocrity, in trying your best, in dreams, in progress, in setting goals, in celebrating success, in learning from mistakes, in good.

#93: Gifts don't need to be wrapped.

Several years ago (out of laziness, I admit) I stopped wrapping your gifts from us to you. Santa brings your stocking and we give you each 3 gifts...to symbolize the 3 wise men that brought gifts to Baby Jesus. After seeing how excited Edwin and Lyla were to remove the blanket a few years ago, I instantly thought - wait I don't have to wrap everything. It is just as exciting to pull off a blanket!

Lesson - not all gifts need wrapping. In fact most gifts don't come neatly packaged with a big bow on top. Most gifts might feel like normal things until you actually stop to think about it. Some of my favorite gifts that haven't been wrapped: EACH OF YOU!!! You each came out in your birthday suit and were instantly perfect in every way...a gift beyond measure!

#92: Happy Birthday Jesus!

I remember the first time I celebrated Christmas with your dad's family in Pittsburgh...it was magical. So many people just happy to be together. One of my favorite parts was Grandma Mueller bringing out a birthday cake for Baby Jesus and everyone singing Happy Birthday. I don't know why - but I loved that. We never did that growing up...but it is a tradition that I've loved sharing with you. So thank you Grandma Mueller and Muellerville for loving me and making me one of your family from the very beginning...and for sharing the true reason for the season in a simple tradition that we can continue...LOVE!!! Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday Jesus!!! :)

#91: Black and white doesn't exist.

I recently took this picture of the Christmas tornado wreckage and immediately knew that I needed to make it a black and white photo. Everything looks better in black and white...especially messes.

But this has made me think...nothing is really black and white, especially our messes. There is so much grey - so many shadows - so much mystery - so much guilt - so many emotions - so much intensity. Everything would probably look easier if it were truly black and white. We would know exactly what to do in every situation. We would never have to think...but my lesson has been that there is beauty in discovering the grey. It is painful (sometimes). It is joyous (sometimes). Most certainly, it is unique...embrace the grey.

#90: Be merry.

Enough said.

#89: The kid table is the place to be.

Lesson - don't move up to the adult table until you have to. Believe me, your kid table is amazing!

#88: Look up.

Not really up...but look forward. Don't waste energy with regrets. Move on...be better tomorrow than today. Look up and forward...

#87: Just have fun.

This lesson is simple - just have fun. There are times where you will have to be serious and hopefully you'll learn when those times are - but there are many more times where you can just have fun. You can smile, laugh, joke, dance, twirl, sing, scream, march, get dirty, and on and on and on...Love this life...everyday...just have fun!

#86: Enjoy waiting in lines.

Car line can be fun. I hear parents talking all of the time about how awful car line is...and I must admit, I've sat there on days when I thought I'd never get to the drop off or pick up spot...but guess what, we always did...

Today's lesson is to enjoy waiting in lines.There are lines everywhere - restaurants, shops, drop offs, pick ups, post office, driving, bathrooms - face it, they are a part of our world. The faster you can learn to enjoy waiting in lines, the better life will become. I'm definitely not saying that waiting in lines will ever be (or should ever be) one of your favorite things to do...but we also don't have to hate it. Smile. Say hi to people. Turn on your radio. Sing. Pray. Experience the sunshine. There are a million ways to enjoy our lines. And don't let it stop there - when you get to the front of the line - BE NICE! It is these small things that can make our days mean so much more than mere minutes passing by.

#85: Recharge often.

Isn't it awesome that God built us with the ability to recharge. We can rest and lay down our burdens before the Cross and move forward with a full heart. During the holidays, I'm reminded how busy we can get. I often feel like my batteries are running out...I'm like the toy that can't sing the full song anymore or who's lights blink because there just isn't enough charge left...well...today's lesson is to recharge. Find ways to fill your tank. Seek opportunities to regain your composure and start over. Ask for guidance and wisdom from others whose batteries are charged...or be that person for someone else...we all need to recharge sometimes.

#84: Give and Receive.

Give with a joyful heart full of thanksgiving and receive countless blessings from God above. It is the season to remember those who are in need and help as we can. Let us always think of others.

#83: Open your eyes.

Recently I was taking some pictures and I asked you to open your eyes. We were outside and your eyes are so sensitive to the light that you are almost always squinting. I love your eyes...they are the most wonderful shade of grey-blue...just like your dad. Anyways, when I asked you to open your eyes, you said I can't and instantly forced them open with your hands. We both laughed hysterically and the resulting picture is just as funny as I remember the moment.

Lesson for today - OPEN YOUR EYES. There is so much to see in this world. So much beauty. So much love. So much to try. So much inspiration. So much. But you won't experience any of it with your eyes shut...and yes, sometimes it will be scary because there is also so much hatred, ignorance, ugliness, etc in our world. At those times, you might have to hold your eyes open. But OPEN YOUR EYES. Face everything with a sense of confidence. Love yourself. Know that you always have support. Know that you can do ANYTHING...but you must open your eyes and try!

#82: Make a path.

I saw this a few days ago and it made me think - who is watching my life path? Who am I inspiring? Who am I motivating? Who is looking at me as an example? What would my path look like? No doubt it wouldn't be a straight line so beautifully clear and so visible to everyone...what would yours look like? Should we work to change it?

#81: The only person in the world.

I recently went shelling with one of my great friends and it was simply beautiful. We rode a boat out to an island and were dropped off for a few hours. At times, I felt like I was the only person on the island. The wind and waves crashing were the only thing I could hear...and then I'd hear a "Mindy, look what I found!" and realize I wasn't alone...but for a second, it was just me...me and the world.

Sometimes we must fight battles alone. We must face our deepest fears and demons alone. We must cry in the silence of the night. We must hide. We must conquer. We must overcome...ALONE. I struggle with feeling lonely so often these days...but I'm learning that we must fight some battles alone in order to find true love for yourself...it is a painfully slow process...but progress can often be described in this way. Trust. Go. Progress...even if it is alone.

#80: Every strand needs a middle.

Sometimes I see an image that makes me stop and count my blessings. This is one of those pictures...Lyla, you are so loved. You are such a blessing to our family. You are our princess. You are YOU at all times and I love that. I believe God sent you to us and knew that you'd be the PERFECT MIDDLE piece to our family. I hope you always remember how important the MIDDLE piece is...you are a lucky girl and we are even luckier...

#79: Be patient.

Patience is so hard. It truly gets harder as you get older. I don't know if it because you know you have to be patient and don't want to or because we live in a quick fix society that we completely forget the importance of waiting - me included. I HATE WAITING...even for simple things...the bigger the thing, the harder it is for me to be patient. So, learn this young...patience is good...VERY GOOD.

#78: Collect shells.

Spent the weekend checking REAL SHELL HUNTING off of my FL To Do List...the lesson - wherever you decide to live or travel to - create a TO DO list. Things that you can only do there and mark them off...so awesome!!! Can't wait to check some more off my list!

#76: Twirl at sunset.

Twirling is fun anytime - but there is something extra special about a barefoot twirl in an open field at sunset with a great friend...ENJOY!

#75: Make it count.

Make it count. Make it an epic moment. His shirt says it all. Embrace your adventure! 

#74: Use a crockpot.

There are so many wonderful recipes that can be made in a crockpot! Get one and use it! Yum! 

#73: Dig.

Machines are cool to watch, but that isn't what this picture made me think of. We call this a "digger" and it's job is to dig out the old stuff so that something new and hopefully better can take its place. Well, today's lesson is to create a personal digger. Review your choices and dig out the old to make way for new and better ones. Sometimes it will be easier to let the old stick around...you'll look past holes, cracks, dents, tarnish, chipping paint, etc because it is scary to go off autopilot...but the more aware you become...the more digging you do...the greater your rewards! 

#72: Enjoy an afternoon nap.

Every once in a while it is perfectly acceptable to curl up and enjoy an afternoon nap! 

#71: Everyday is a gift.

This lesson is something I think about often - but take for granted. Everyday is a gift. It is too easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life - especially in our world. Between homework, sports, play-dates, work and all of the other things we have to fit into the same 24 hours that everyone has - we forget. We forget to say thanks to God for another day of blessings. We forget to take a deep breath and acknowledge how blessed we are. We forget how wonderful life truly is. Normal days are sometimes the greatest gifts...knowing that we don't have to have something special on the calendar or spend a ton of money to love each other...to create memories...to be HAPPY...

#70: Read.

I love that you all love books. We've been reading with each of you before you were born...I love snuggling up and reading books with you...and for the most part, you all could sit and listen all day long. Sometimes we forget how fun reading is...I recently joined a book-study group at church and have recommitted to reading...don't stop...keep reading...keep learning!

#69: Create 1:1 time.

With 3 kids, I realize how valuable time has become. It is something that I can't make more of. I also know the power of 1:1 time and as parents, we continue to try to find special opportunities to share moments that matter with each child ALONE. Times get crazy. Our calendars are so full. It is hard to find time. Everyone is so busy. Money is tight. And to each excuse I say BLAH BLAH BLAH...I know I've used them to justify why I haven't taken individual time with my little ones...

Sometimes it takes a special occasion to guide you into some 1:1 time. It can be a school field trip, a special activity, a friend's birthday party or in this case a VERY SPECIAL WEDDING. Today Callie Marie Photography posted this photo from our recent trip to Cincinnati. Our old nanny asked Lyla to be her Flower Girl and Lyla was so excited (so was I)! Melissa has always had a special place in my heart and our kids adore her...the wedding was perfect. Lyla did amazing but for me the most memorable moments were being with Lyla 1:1 for an extended weekend. What an blessing for us. What a special memory we were able to make together. Special thanks to Callie Marie Photography for capturing one of these moments for me forever...special thanks to Melissa for not only asking us to be a part of this celebration, but for including Lyla and me in such an integral way.

I'm still in complete awe that we produced such a beautiful little princess...thanks be to God!

#68: Make your bed.

It is simple. So simple that often we say we don't need to do it. Making your bed can seem like a meaningless task - especially when we use our excuses to justify why we DON'T do it - example - why make the bed if we are just going to get back into it in a few hours...

Well, I want you to think about why you should make your bed. I've recently made an attempt to not leave my bedroom in the morning without making my bed first! In just a few days I can tell you there are some major positives from adding this to my morning routine:

1. Starting the day with a sense of accomplishment. It is probably the easiest thing I'll get to check off from my day's to do list and starts my day with forward progress.

2. It makes it very difficult to crawl back into bed if it is already made.

3. It is a positive example of respecting your space. I'm constantly asking my kids to clean up and respect their things - but I haven't been a living example of taking pride and ownership of my own.

4. It looks nice.

5. I spent good money on a beautiful bed set, and it feels good to use it.

6. I don't have to keep my bedroom door closed because I actually enjoy seeing my special space.

7. It is EASY!

8. Did I mention that it is EASY????

So, what are you waiting for...if you haven't made your bed today - get to it! Don't wait...this very simple task can start a snowball effect of getting things done, cleaned up, put away and crossed off!!!

#67: Be gentle.

Now that Louie has started school - we're constantly practicing one of his new school rules - GENTLE HANDS...BE GENTLE TO YOUR FRIENDS...and it has made me think. Lesson: Don't just be gentle in a physical way. We must also learn to be gentle emotionally. You never know what a person is going through in the privacy of their heart and we must always be gentle with our words and actions.

#66: Smile...A Lot.

#65: Sometimes it takes 1,000 NOs to find just 1 YES.

Keep asking. Especially if it involves something you care deeply about. Example, I am passionate about fundraising for the Alzheimer's Association. From even before your Great Grandma Betty (AKA: Grams) was diagnosed, this disease had started stealing memories. Simple activities started becoming burdens. Grocery shopping, cooking, taking medicine, driving, telling stories, etc...all changed. Some more slowly than others - but eventually all that was left was a shell. Grams truly lost her marbles and I pledged to Paps that I would continue fighting for a cure to this awful disease...I would gather her marbles and we would take a stand...and I began asking. Asking for help - asking for donations - asking for teammates - asking - asking - asking. Sometimes it gets old...I feel like I'm bothering people...but then I remember why I do this and I think to myself I HOPE I'M BOTHERING YOU...Take note...make a difference...I will continue asking until I get YOUR yes!!! THANK YOU!!! http://act.alz.org/goto/bettysmarblesteam

#64: Take note of your details.

Look in the mirror and give thanks for your details. They are so unique and perfect in every way. Every little thing - I see my summer freckles, wet eyelashes from a day in the pool, ungroomed eyebrows, etc. and they add up to MAMA PERFECTION... :)

#63: Appreciate situations that FORCE you to slow down.

We are always hurrying from place to place. Event to event. It feels like as soon as one things end, we're off to the next. It is easy to feel anxious and even angry when you are forced to slow down - but today's lesson is to appreciate it. Appreciate when a FL bird parade forces you to drive slower and appreciate God's creations. Enjoy the beauty this will bring to your life.

#62: Don't go to IKEA on Saturday afternoons.

Unless you have to...just don't do it.

#61: Play in the rain.

Enough said.

#60: Take note of the normal days - they are actually extraordinary.

 
Today was a normal day. We rushed getting ready this morning - I think everyone ate peanut butter and jelly waffles and a fruit pouch. We all got dressed and out the door to actually be 2 minutes early at the bus stop. This allowed me to put a new lego keychain (golden ninja) on Edwin's bookbag and then Edwin got on the bus. Lyla and Louie raced ahead of me back to the house to watch a morning show while I got everything ready (mostly my thoughts) for the day. Off to the grocery - we were out of bananas - don't know why that seems to happen every morning? Back home in time for swim lessons - Louie had a float refresher with our favorite swim coach Miss Tina today. While getting Louie out of his wet clothes, he managed to pee all over me - so some clean up was necessary. Then lunch, coloring, Simon Says...and lots of singing/dancing. Then it was time to head back to the bus stop to get Edwin. Then back home to hear all about Edwin's BLUE (best behavior) day, his bought lunch - only his 2nd day trying to buy lunch and he LOVED the chicken sandwich and sweet potato fries. Put Louie down for a nap and then time for Edwin's weekly homework while Lyla busily glued as much paper as possible together - she was making an American Flag so I didn't feel like I should tell her to stop. Then dinner and a movie (Ratatouille) while we wait for daddy to get home. Daddy gets to spend a few minutes with us as we finish our movie and then has to jump on a MBA video conference call...so I get you all ready for bed - read 3 LONG books and tuck you all in. Tomorrow we start all over...just a normal day...actually extraordinary...

Lesson: take note of these normal days - they seem to get lost in the shuffle of the super crazy days. We forget how awesome these normal days are because life gets so full. We are so blessed by these NORMAL days! :)

#59: Don't wait until you run out of excuses.

So, two nights ago your dad told me that someone made the comment to him that he must have an awesome wife and he thanked me for keeping us all together. It was exactly what I needed to hear. The life of a stay-at-home-mom often feels overwhelming and under-appreciated. (NOTE BOTH  EXCUSES I've been using).  I went to bed feeling proud of my family, my husband, my kids...but most importantly ME.

For months I've been finding reasons why I cannot focus on me - all of the normal suspects - lack of time, family, side-job pressures, lonliness, kid activities, too hot, Dave's work schedule, etc...all excuses that have allowed me to justify my lack of concern for ME and my downward spiral (weight gain, lack of physical activity, depression, etc)...

I woke up the next morning feeling refreshed - a new motto came to me - an answered prayer - so clear..."YOU ARE COMPLETELY OUT OF EXCUSES!" Edwin started school on Monday and I began by checking a few things off of my to-do list that have been there for months and completing a healthy grocery trip with no sneaky treats (for those of you who don't know this about me - it is a coping mechanism that I've developed to deal with my fear, anger, guilt, shame, etc...I eat in secret. I know it is a serious problem and I'm currently looking at ways to deal with it for the long-term). I kept telling myself "JUST GET THROUGH TODAY" and that's what I did. Today, Lyla and Louie both started school and I took the opportunity to head to the gym - first time in months. I just kept repeating "JUST GET THROUGH TODAY". Tonight we took a family walk and I enjoyed watching our three beautiful kids run, smile, laugh, play, race, etc. And then it hit me...all of this time I've been using excuses...I should've been looking at reasons to keep going - not reasons to stop.

This is a VERY IMPORTANT lesson and one that I wish I would've thought about and mastered a long time ago. Don't wait until you run out of excuses to do something great. Take a minute to think of all of the reasons why you should do something great and keep going. Don't let the excuses take over and help you quit. You can succeed if you're willing to take the steps necessary to make it happen. Your 3 perfect faces helped me realize this today...and once again, I am proud of ME! THANK YOU! :)